and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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