The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
