So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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