who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
