and you said cock pushups were impossible
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
