And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
