shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
