is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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