Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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