I wish I could teleport
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize