highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
