I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
