I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I want a musical about memes.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
