My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
