I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
