i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
