the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
