i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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