so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
