She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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