So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
