i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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