peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
