you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
