thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
