my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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