why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
