what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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