Having a random hookup so left but love u
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
