Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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