She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She's the barista slut.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
