i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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