Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
love makes seman taste better
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
