i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
