careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
