So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
