Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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