Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
