Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
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