suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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