My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
