Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
