After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize