I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
