he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
