I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
