i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
