evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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