Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
