Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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