i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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