you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
PANTIES FOUND
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