it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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