Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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