How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
