you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize