Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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