I should be sponsored by Trojan
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
