I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize