we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
