Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize