i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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