Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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