Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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