i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
