so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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