i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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