The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
