You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you win again, gameday.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
