What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
