i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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