OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
there is glitter all over my balls
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