why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
