did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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