so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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