Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
