I cockslap morals
...so i touched it.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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