I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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