She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
